$afety in Number$

They say there's a price of safety. It's been around a long time. Obey the law, police protect you. Obey the bible, the lord will save you. Back when an eye for an eye was incorporated as law, do what you were told, and you were avenged. So, as history (most likely) always repeats itself, some one is bound to take advantage of something as major. It's been done in policing (is that a word? maybe copping? law avenging?) many times, and quite a few in religion as well. Do what I tell you, and you'll be fine. Only this time it's not a 2 bit (or 8-bit![Mario the Bandito!]) criminal posing as a peace keeper or preacher. It's someone worse. Corporation. Corporation may not run off with your grandma's purse, but corporation knows a better technique. Selling safety.

*camera pans out on a run down, dead beat Sesame Street, where Grover lies passed out on the street and the cookie monster is laying out lines*
Mr. Crack Addict Cookie Monster: OM NOM NOM, COCAINE!
The Count with a Cheep Toupee: 1, 2, 3! 3 lines of crack cocaine! Ah ah ah ah.
Elmo with a fur coat and grill: This way hoe! How'd ja like ta tickle me elmo, eh?
Hoe: This ain't what you pay me for elmo!
Elmo with fur coat and grill: Shut up hoe!
(Elmo reaches up to slap her, as a drucken big bird staggers on screen)
The Count with a Cheep Toupee: 1! 1 crazy drunken bird! Ah ah ah ah.
Staggering, Slurring Bird: Shuddap Count Shuckula!
(He cracks a bottle over the Counts head, knocking off his toupee)
(A seemingly famous celebrity or athlete steps on screen, giving this ad the illusion that this celebrity cares for this cause, so the commercial cannot be a load of it, and that you should also care with all your heart and throw money at this cause because this glamorous celebrity does)
John Travolta: Hey hey, what's goen on here?
Elmo with fur coat and grill: Beat it greaser, you aint welcome here in da hood no mo!
John Travolta: Hm, well maybe if Sesame Street had purchased more Home Security, Home Insurance, and Life Insurance, it might be A-okay, right fellas?
(Elmo's hoe starts coughing)
John Travolta: Sounds like a nasty cough there, eh fellas? I think maybe some Tylenol might help out there.

Now, Sesame Street seems pretty scary doesn't it? But as our pal John Travolta mentioned, it might not have gone to hell without life insurance!

What a load.

Commercial's usually aren't as blunt and uncreative as that, but the idea's the same. Buy our product, and safety is all yours. Safety may not have always been a human right. Before civilization it was fend for yourselves. Hunt with your village or hunt by yourself, either way there was never a rest-easy assurance you would come home safe. But that doesn't necessarily mean that anyone has to charge a lot of money while pressuring you into buying it by showing you a horrible outcome that's unlikely but your fragile and easily molded mind is convinced into believing. And while it's not as extreme as it could be, it's still enough to make me write it down on the internet, still henceforth still as useless as I was on the subject from the start. But Rome wasn't built over night. For me it might be half built before I scrap it to make way for a new amusement park. Either way, metaphors aside, the old saying still holds true. There's always safety in numbers. The only question is what number are you willing to pay for it.